How to MAJORLY Tick Off Tai, Jun and Davis
by Beth and Kierra
Summary: Matt and Kari decide to pull a joke on everyone....
1. Evil, Evil Plans

**How to MAJORLY Tick off Tai, Davis and Jun**   
  


**Disclaimer:**

Kari: The authors don't own anything, because if they did, they wouldn't be writing fanfics, but scripts.   
Matt: Just read the story, already! Fanfiction.net is a disclaimer in itself!

** Part One: Evil, EVIL Plans**

It was a nice, warm...uhh...spring evening! Yeah, that's it, spring evening. Anyhoo, Matt was walking home from band practice, a deep scowl on his face. If you haven't guessed already, Jun had been trying to ask him out again.

_How many painful ways can I kill her?_ He wondered, grinning a bit sadistically.

Lost in his kill-Jun-by-horrible-death thoughts, he ran right into a...a...a what? Oh! A very fast and pissed-off Kari Kamiya. The bounded off each other and fell to the ground.

"Stupid friggin Davis...just like my stupid friggin brother, and his stupid friggin sidewalk, and this stupid locomotive that I just ran into. And TK is NOT helping this right now!" She finished in a shout, standing up and shaking her fist right under Matt's nose.

Matt just stared at here. Never in his life had he heard sweet innocent Kari say such horrid things! And about her own brother, too! _The world is ending..._ he thought dazedly as he stood up, carefully avoiding her clenched fist.

"Uhh...Kari? Is anything wrong?" he asked nervously.

"Is anything wrong?" Kari whispered.

_Uh-oh.... She's whispering...._

"IS ANYTHING WRONG? Does it look like it? You bet your whole damn band something is wrong! Or your precious hair! Would you like a list of things that are wrong?????? Hum!!" Without waiting for an answer, she went on. "My stupid brother is trying to hook me up with that damn wannabe! Do you think I WANT to go out with someone who looks almost EXACTLY like my brother? And YOUR brother! TK is NOT helping any!!!!! He always calls me his girl, but what does he do when Davis asks me out? He steps aside like a gentleman and lets him! He actually agrees to let Davis take me out! He's practically told Davis I'd marry him!"

She paused for breath, blinked, then fell to the ground.

"Kari? Are you okay?" Matt asked worriedly, standing over her.

"Yeah." She opened her eyes and sat up, "That felt REALLY good to just let it all out."

She stood up, and wiped the dirt off her clothes.

"What about you? You don't look too happy yourself." Kari asked, back to her sweet self. Then she looked apprehensive... "Is this something I wanna here? Keep it under R please... I'm just 13!"

"It's Jun." Matt scowled.

"Who?" Kari looked confused.

"Davis' bitch of an older sister." Matt growled. "She follows me EVERYWHERE!!! Well, except to the bathroom and that's because it has a lock. She even follows me home! AND one night she managed to get through my window to 'watch me sleep'" -- he made 'quote/un-quote signs' -- "She's three years older than me and she keeps trying to ask me out on a date! I had to set the guard dogs on her! And STILL she came back! But my dad threw her out, thank God." Yamato said, all in one breath.

Kari was still laughing over the bedroom window thing. But she stopped when Matt send a death glare her way. "Sorry... but it seems we BOTH have a problem with the Motomiya family. If only there was something we could do..." Kari sighed.

They both moved to a bench and sat down to think.

After a few minutes of silent thought, they both turned to each other thoughtfully for a minute.

Then Matt got an evil, EVIL idea...

_What if we pretended to be going out? Then they would get off our backs! They'd HAVE to!_ Matt thought with a smile of vindictive glee...

"Hey Kari..." Matt stopped....

"What? Do you have an idea?" Kari asked. _Good, then I won't have to share mine!_ Kari thought with a small shudder.

_Um.. wait a minute here, Ishida..._ Matt stopped himself, _Think about it for a minute, what's she gonna say if you suggest that? She'll think you're even more psychotic than she already does!_ Matt contemplated. Then he surpressed a small shudder, _Eww, eww, eww, I'd be dating Tai's little sister...she's like, three years younger than me! That would NOT be nice! Augh.. I can see it now: "Cool Guy thows it all away and becomes... DIDDLERMAN!" AUGH!!!!!!!!!! My reputation would be ruined! Scratch that idea._

"Uhh..never mind, it's a stupid idea." He mumbled.

_Oh, no... Now, should I say MY idea? But, he'll think I'm a lovesick little child, like that Jun chick.... Oh, well... desperate times call for desperate measures...._ Kari thought, blushing and covering her face with her hands.

"Uhh... Matt?" she asked.

"What?" he asked, "You have an idea?" he asked, feeling a bit relieved.

"I know this is gonna sound so weird and a bit disgusting..." she began from behind her hands.

_Good Lord, DON'T tell me she was thinking the same thing I was,_ Matt thought with horror, _No, no, no, no, NO! NOT A CHANCE IN HELL!!_

"..But, we can.." she took a deep breath, then said in a one big rush, "Wecanalwayspretendyouandmearedating."

Matt's eyes bugged out. But Kari continued, unheeded.

"I know, I know... It's gross... I mean, the age thing.... But it would only be pretend, and think about this... Tai would get mad, and you can't get hurt for it, because not even HE is stupid enough to attack MY boyfriends even if Tai is a total jerk, and Davis an Jun would have to get off our backs, because we'd be dating! Please, I can't think of anything better!" Kari said, hoping that Matt wasn't thinking she was a total nutcake.

In the mean while, Matt was slowing starting to grin evilly. The thought of Tai being pissed at him, but not able to do anything was very appealing. Besides, it might not be so bad, and anyway, Jun would be off his back, because he'd be taken.... Hummm... this just might work after all! Matt thought with a smile.

_He's smiling... that has to be a good sign, right?_ Kari thought, peering at him between her fingers.

"So how do this?" Kari asked.

"We plan and plan, then plan some more. Did I mention we have to plan?" Matt asked.

There was silence before they both spoke in unison,

"Why do I feel like I just made a deal with the devil?"   


_Well, what did you think? PLease review!_


	2. Action Time

**How to MAJORLY Tick off Tai, Davis and Jun**   
  


**Disclaimer:**

Kari: The authors don't own anything, because if they did, they wouldn't be writing fanfics, but scripts.   
Matt: Just read the story, already! Fanfiction.net is a disclaimer in itself!   


**Part 2: Action Time**

"Hey, Kari!" a voice called from behind Kari as she waited at her bus-stop. TK smiled at her before boarding the bus ahead of her, getting a window seat almost directly by her, but Kari didn't notice.

_Great…Davis…_Kari thought, rolling her eyes before facing him. "Hi, Davis." She said, smiling painfully.

"So, you like, wanna go out tonight?" he asked, a bit akwardly.

_Great, where's Matt when I need him?_ Kari thought. She then noticed someone behind Davis. It was none other than Matt, _Oh, THERE he is..._she surpressed an evil smile, _This is gonna be fun._

"So, how about it?" Davis asked eagerly.

"Sorry, I already have a date." She said.

"With who?" Davis's sister, Jun asked, walking up. It so happened that she took this route home, because Matt lived along this road.

Matt tapped Davis on the shoulder.

"Oh, you." Davis said, remembering their first encounter which almost ended with Davis getting the crap kicked out of him.

"Yeah, me." Matt said, kinda shoving past him to Kari. He didn't notice TK watching the whole scene from the bus, "Ready?"

"Ready for what?" Jun asked, looking dreamily at Matt who ignored her.

"Hi Matt!" Kari said, grinning hugely. She flung her arms around Matt's neck and kissed him on the cheek.

Jun and Davis stared open-mouthed with shock.

_Yes! I've succeeded in jaw-dropping!_ He thought, cheering silently to himself.

"Let's go quickly." Kari whispered in his ear, "I'm gonna burst out laughing in a minute."

"See ya around." Matt said as he walked off, arm-in-arm with Kari.

TK stared after them, his heart pretty much crushed. He was still in shock as the bus drove away.

Jun and Davis stood there a LONG time, staring after Matt and Kari.

*******

Matt and Kari entered the front hall of Matt's house and burst out laughing. Kari was laughing so hard that tears were coming out of her eyes.

"Did you see the look on their faces?" Matt snickered.

"You know what, I think this was a very good idea, after all." Kari said.

"Yes, and this even isn't the best part." Matt said, grinning evilly.

"What's the best part?" Kari asked, some-what warily.

"When T-" Matt began.

"Best part of what?" Matt's dad came into the hallway, reading something and not even looking up.

"Just a practical joke we're playing on everyone." Matt said.

"Good for you…" Mr. Ishida said, and walked out of the hall.

"So, what's the best part?" Kari repeated her question.

"When Tai finds out." Matt said, rubbing his hands in anticipation.

The thought of her brother's face when he found out that she and Matt were "dating" set her off in another fit of giggles.

********

"I can't believe we witnessed that." Davis said. He and Jun were sitting on the curb, long after the bus had gone, come back for it's second run an hour later and gone again, still in shock.

"Pinch me. I think I'm having a nightmare." Jun said.

"What does that jerk have that I don't have?" Davis demanded angrily.

"What does that little brunette brat have that I don't have?" Jun asked.

"Kari is not a brat!"

"And Matt isn't a jerk!"

Davis lapsed into silence, then a thought occurred to him, "Someone's gonna have to tell Tai."

"Maybe we both should." Jun said.

"Let's go." Davis said, getting up slowly.

"How far away is his apartment?" Jun asked.

"Seven miles." Davis said.

"I don't have any money for public bus fare!" Jun wailed.

"Neither do I, so stop whining and start walking." Davis said, pushing his sister out in front of him as they began the long trek to Tai's apartment.


	3. What Happens When Tai Finds Out?

**How to MAJORLY Tick off Tai, Davis and Jun**   
  


**Disclaimer:**

Kari: The authors don't own anything, because if they did, they wouldn't be writing fanfics, but scripts.   
Matt: Just read the story, already! Fanfiction.net is a disclaimer in itself!   


**Part 3: What Happens When Tai Finds Out?**

After a long, loooong, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG walk, Davis and Jun finally reached Tai's apartment complex. They collapsed against the walls of the elevator.

"So…how are we gonna tell him?" Jun asked.

"I don't know." Davis said. His heart had shattered into a million pieces this afternoon, How can she like…that…that…IDIOT?!?!? He raged inside as the elevator stopped at Tai's floor. He and Jun walked to the door and knocked.

"Hey, why are you two here?" Tai asked as he answered the door.

"Liquid…need liquid…" Jun gasped as Tai let them in. They walked to the living room and sat down, Tai handing Jun a juice box.

"Have you seen Kari? It's five and she's STILL not home." Tai said, looking a bit worried.

"Actually, that's what we're here to talk to you about." Davis said.

"You know where she is?" Tai hopped to his feet, "Is she okay? Where is she?"

"She's…erm…at Matt's." Jun said, uncomfortably.

"What is she doing there?" Tai's worry was replaced by confusion.

"I don't know if you know this, but…" Davis trailed off, suddenly very interested in the coffee table.

"But what?" Tai asked.

"SheandMattaredating!" Davis rushed out.

"Your little bitch of a sister stole my man!" Jun screamed at the same time.

Tai held up a hand and collaped onto the sofa, "Did you just say what I think you did?"

"What do you think we said?" Davis asked warily.

"That my little sister and Matt are dating." Tai said, his face pale.

"That's what we did say." Davis said weakly. He then threw his hands over his ears.

"Why did you cover your ears?" Jun asked.

Suddenly, Tai let loose a yell that shook the room.

"That's why." Davis said.

"Okay, Matt has some explaining to do." Tai stormed over the phone and punched in Matt's number.

*******

"So, we're gonna do this, and this, but not this?" Matt asked, pointing to a list of plans.

"But I wanna do this! It's a carnival!" Kari complained.

"Roller-coasters make me sick." Matt said.

"Can we at least get some cotton candy?" Kari pleaded, "Besides, if we don't go, it's gonna look awfully strange." She added.

"Fine." Matt said, giving in.

Suddenly the phone rang.

"That's Tai." Matt said.

"Matt! Phone for you! It's Tai Kamiya!" Mr. Ishida yelled up.

"Let the fun begin." Matt said, picking up the extension by his desk. "Got it, Dad!" he yelled downstairs, then put his ear to the phone, "Hello?"

"Why is my sister there?" Tai's voice had a dangerously calm tone.

"Is it Tai?" Kari asked. Matt nodded. "Where's another phone?" she asked.

"Right down the hall, it's cordless." Matt covered the mouthpiece and told Kari.

"I'd advise you to hold the phone away from your ear." Kari said, running to get the phone.

Matt held the phone at arm's length and it was a good thing to because Tai started to yell at the top of his lungs.

"YOU LITTE @@!%#(^ HOW DARE YOU GO OUT WITH MY SISTER! THAT'S $@&*#*% @#^%#$?$w!!!!!!!" Tai continued to shout obscene words at Matt over the phone.

"Tai?" Kari's voice asked sweetly when Tai had paused for a breath.

"Kari? You're on the phone?" Tai asked weakly.

"Remember your little promise to stay out of my lovelife?" Kari asked.

"No." Tai said sullenly.

"Well, let me remind you!" Kari yelled at him, then slammed down the phone. Matt quietly hung up his extension and started laughing again.

"He is SO mad at us." Matt laughed.

"I know." Kari grinned.

Matt then checked his watch, "Time for band practice." he said.

"Will Jun be there?" Kari perked up a bit.

"Probably." Matt said.

"If I go, it'll probably tick her off." Kari said, innocently.

"And we all know what a shame that would be." Matt said sarcastically.

"She'd probably blow a fuse." Kari continued.

"You're coming to band practice with me." Matt said, grabbing his guitar case and Kari's arm. He dragged her out of the house and down to the garage. He opened the driver's door of the car.

"You can drive?" Kari asked, climbing in the passanger seat.

"Yeah. I'm sixteen." Matt said, starting up the engine.

"Whoa. I never thought I'd have a boyfriend who could drive until I was at least a coupe of years older." Kari said in mock-adoration.

"Oh, just shut up. I'm trying to concentrate on the road." Matt said, backing out of the driveway.

"We're not on the road yet." Kari said in a smart-mouth tone.

Matt sighed and continued to concentrate on driving.There was silence in the car for around five minutes.

"What am I going to tell your friends? I don't think they'd be too pleased with you if you were dating a thirteen-year-old." Kari said.

Matt slammed on the brakes. It was a good thing Kari was wearing her seatbelt or she would've gone flying through the window. Matt then turned to her, panic-stricken.

"You can't tell anyone your age! Please! Please! I'll pay you!" Matt pleaded, "At least lie! Say you're fifteen, please!"

"Fifteen dollars." Kari held out her hand, "One for every year I supposedly lived."

"Well, then you should only get two because you're thirteen." Matt snapped.

"Just give me the fifteen. I have to buy a present for Tai." she said.

Matt glowered at her and pulled out his wallet. He slapped three five-dollar bills into her hand.

"Thanks." Kari stuffed it in her pocket.

"Remember, not a single word about your real age." Matt said through gritted teeth, starting the car back up.

_This is gonna be fun_ Kari said to herself.

_What did I get myself into?_ Matt asked himself, wishing he could turn back time. _At least it's not as bad as dating Jun_ he told himself gloomily as he parked the car.

"We're here." he said, getting his guitar out of the back. He looked like someone on their way to the gallows.


	4. Band Practice

**How to MAJORLY Tick off Tai, Davis and Jun**   
  


**Disclaimer:**

Kari: The authors don't own anything but the made-up names of the people in Matt's band. Face it, if they did own Digimon, they wouldn't be writing fanfics, but scripts.   
Matt: Just read the story, already! Fanfiction.net is a disclaimer in itself!

_**Author's Note**: Okay, this is Kitsune here to clear some stuff up. Number 1: For the sake of this fanfic Matt is 16 and Kari is 13. They're not really. And I use the information provided by the original Japanese version, not the dubbed version. Kari is 11 in the original version and Matt is 14. Number 2: Yes, Jun is three years older than Matt. Go to any site with info on the original version. Here, as a matter of fact, here's a URL to one: [Megchan's Digimon Sekai][1]. Go there and you'll find all the info you need about Digimon 02 (ORIGINAL version, minna-chan)...Anything else I need to say? No...wait, yes! The song that Matt sings is the translation of his first season Japanese song, Walk on the Edge. And we're pretending that Matt lives in a large, cushy house in Odaiba 'coz he's famous and all. ;P...I'm listening to Negai Kanaeru Kagi now....Suki da Negai Kanaeru Kagi. Negai Kanaeru Kagi is Matt's 02 theme. Oretachi no Melody is cool also...goi download the songs from Napster or something. They're sugoi! Also, I have something to ask you. It's at the bottom of the fanfic._   


**Part 4: Band Practice**   
  


"Hey, Matt, who's that?" Alex asked as Matt and Kari walked in.

"This is my girfriend Kari." Matt said, "Kari, this is Alex. And that's Jim and Luke." Matt introduced.

"Hey." Jim waved slightly

"How old are you?" Luke asked Kari suspicously.

"Why do you want to know?" Kari shot back.

"Coz you don't look very old." Luke said.

"Oh, really?" Kari folded her arms.

"How old are you?" Luke persisted.

_What is she gonna say? What is she gonna say?_ Matt thought nervously, trying to keep his face calm.

"Too young to drink, but old enough to walk downtown by myself. And the rest is classified information. Even ask the government." Kari said.

Matt felt like a cross between smacking Kari for the idiotic comment or hugging her for not telling her age.

"Whatever." Luke said.

"Oh, look, Jun arriveth." Alex called as the familiar sister of Davis walked up.

"Let the fireworks begin." Matt muttered under his breath.

"Oh, you're here." Jun said, distaste fully evident as she noticed Kari.

"Hey! Matt! Get your guitar out! We have to practice!" Jim called.

"Uhh, yeah." Matt said. He walked over to where the others were, but he kept looking worridly over his shoulder at Kari and Jun who were glaring at each other.

"So." Jun said, letting the word hang in the air.

"So what?" Kari asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Who gives you the right to steal my man?" Jun demanded.

"He wasn't your man in the first place." Kari shot back.

"He was until you moved in on him." Jun snapped.

"For your information, he asked me out in the first place." Kari said, _Ooohhh, I hate her!_, she thought angrily.

"I suggest you back off of Matt now or else." Jun said in a threatening tone.

"Or else what?" Kari narrowed her eyes. Instictively, she reached into her pocket for her Digivice, as she always did when she was angry.

"Does anyone else here know your _real_ age, Kamiya?" Jun sneered.

Kari didn't answer. She was too busy panicking. _What if Jun tells the others that I'm only thirteen?_ she thought worridly.

"So, they don't?" Jun smirked, taking Kari's silence for a 'yes', "Well, you wouldn't want Matt's band members to find out would you?" she continued.

"You wouldn't dare." Kari said.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" Jun laughed.

"Not if I have anything to do with it." Kari said.

"Really? What are you gonna do about it, little girl?" Jun asked.

"OK, one, two..." Jim started counting the beats of the song.

"Three." Matt finished and started singing,   
"We're not ready yet, just look   
If I'm right and we really get crushed   
Then what's the point?

"Well, if you want to I can't stop you   
Just cause you're passionate about it   
Doesn't make it right

"Try being a little cooler   
Cool off your head   
There's a chance of winning   
Any game

"I'm all right on my own   
I'll even walk the edge of a knife

"I'm not trying to be tough   
But I can't become enough--**HEY**!" He stopped singing when he saw Jun push Kari. "What are you doing?" he yelled and rushed over to where the two girls were standing.

"Jun here seems intent on picking a fight." Kari said.

"Jun, what the hell d'you think you're doing?" Luke asked.

"Teaching this little brat here a lesson." Jun said, her eyes glittering.

"Jun, just back off." Matt said. He could feel the anger building inside of him. _If she doesn't stop acting like such a bitch, I swear I'm gonna punch her out_.

"Do you know the truth about Matt's little 'girlfriend'?" Jun asked the others.

"What truth?" Alex asked boredly.

"Jun, I'm warning you." Matt said in a low voice so that only Jun and Kari could hear him.

"She's only thirteen." Jun said triumphantly, smirking at Kari.

_Uh-oh...here it comes...good-bye reputation_, Matt thought, bracing himself for the scorn of his bandmates.

To his surprise, they started laughing.

"Oh, come off it, Jun." Jim said.

"Get over it, already. Matt doesn't like you." Alex laughed.

"Nice try. I don't think Matt would date a thirteen year old." Luke told her.

_They think that Jun's so jealous that she'd start spreading lies about my age! _Kari realized.

Jun was outraged to say the least, "You think I'm joking?" she cried angrily, "I am NOT!"

"Come off it Jun, you're just jealous of Kari." Matt said.

"Why don't you just go home and cool off." Jim suggested.

Jun simply glowered at Kari and Matt, then turned on her heel and stalked off.

"I'd watch out for her. She seems really pissed." Luke said to Kari.

"Doesn't bother me." Kari shrugged.

"Let's get back to practicing." Matt suggested.   
  
  
  


_Kitsune's Question: Do you guys want this to turn into a Yakari romance (Yamato[Matt]/Hikari[Kari]) or just leave it at a pratical joke? Beth wants to make it a romance._

   [1]: http://www.megchan.com/digimon/



	5. TK Comes A-Visiting!

**How to MAJORLY Tick off Tai, Davis and Jun**   
  


**Disclaimer:**

Kari: The authors don't own anything but the made-up names of the people in Matt's band. Face it, if they did own Digimon, they wouldn't be writing fanfics, but scripts.   
Matt: Just read the story, already! Fanfiction.net is a disclaimer in itself!

_Kitsune's Note: Okinawa is a city in Japan. It's quite warm there._   


**Part Five: TK Comes A-Visiting!**

"Matt, remember TK's coming for a while." Mr. Ishida said as Matt arrived home after the semi-disasterous band practice.

"He is?" Matt stopped.

"Yes, remember? Nancy has to go to some news conference in Okinawa." Mr. Ishida said.

"Great." Matt said, then walked up to his room, _Oh, just great. While he's here it's probably gonna be a cold war._

************

The next day...

"Hey TK, how's it going?" Matt asked as his younger brother walked past his open door.

Instead of replying, TK stormed past. Seconds later, the sound of a slammming door met Matt's ears.

"Uh oh." Matt muttered. He left his math homework and decided to go talk to TK. He walked to his brother's bedroom door and tried the doorknob. It was locked.

"Hey, Matt," Mr. Ishida poked his head around the corner, "I have to go out for a couple of hours. You and TK'll be all right while I'm away, right."

"Of course, Dad." Matt replied.

"There's pizza in the freezer if you want some." Mr. Ishida said as he left.

Matt then turned back to TK's door, "TK? Are you okay?"

Silence.

"TK, answer me." Matt called, beginning to get a little ticked off.

More silence.

"TK, if you don't open the door, I'm gonna break it down!" Matt threatened.

There was a click as the door unlocked and opened.

"What?" TK demanded harshly. His tone and expression were angry, but his eyes were sad.

_He's taking it worse than I expected_, Matt winced, "Can we talk?"

"About what?" TK asked.

"Kari." Matt said. He braced himself for TK's reaction.

"Go to hell." TK said harshly and slammed the door.

"Dammit." Matt muttered as he truged back to his room, _He's acting like someone died_, he thought, _I didn't know he liked Kari this much._

Instead of going back to his math homework, Matt picked up the phone and dialed Kari's number.

"Hello?" Kari picked up after two rings.

"Kari? Have you talked to TK lately?" Matt asked.

"No. He's been avoiding me." Kari sighed, "So is Tai. He won't even talk to me anymore...well neither will Davis, but that's not a problem."

"Well...TK is here for a couple of days." Matt said.

"Uh oh. What has he said to you?"

"Uhh...about six words. And three of them were 'go to hell'." Matt said wryly.

"Eep. Maybe I should talk to him."

"Yeah, _that's_ gonna work." Matt rolled his eyes.

"Well, it might!" Kari protested.

"Fine. I'll go tell him you want to meet him at the park." Matt sighed.

"Okay. I'll meet him there." Kari said, then hung up the phone.

_Time to tell TK that._ Matt said. Then he shuddered, _I'm a bit afraid of this....don't want him going ballistic like Davis..._

He walked down the hall. Then he stopped. _I doubt he'll open the door for me...what can I use to get in?_ then he smiled. He ran down to the kitchen and grabbed a cake-tester [ya know, the pointy-things] and ran back upstairs.

"TK, open the door! I've got a lock-pick with me!" Matt called.

Of course, TK didn't open the door.

_Sigh. Why does he have to make it difficult for me? He knows I'll get in. That's how I got in our old apartment when no-one was home._ Matt thought, then stuck the cake-tester into the lock. He hear it click and turned the handle.

"TK? Kari wants you to meet her at the park." Matt said, stepping into the room.

"Fine. I'll go." TK snapped, "Aren't you afraid she'll cheat on you?"

"Go before I change my mind about punching you." Matt said.

"Fine." TK said, storming out.

**************

At the park....   


Kari sat on a bench, waiting for TK. She looked up to see him coming...and he he didn't look very happy.

_Uh oh..._ was her thoughts.

"What do you want?" TK asked, glaring at her.

_Okay, he's scaring me..._ Kari inwardly winced.

**************

At the Ishida house.

Matt paused, a few minutes after he had sent TK after Kari.

"Oh, crap....I just sent a madman after Kari." he realised, "He might hurt her...actually cause her bodily harm..."

His eyes widened. _I'm actually worried? Oh God, I'm actually worried about her...Oh no...no...don't tell me I'm actually starting to like-LIKE her...NO!! She's three years younger than me! That's not right! ARGH! If she was **two**__years younger than me, **then** it might be all right, but to my knowledge, her birthday isn't anytime soon...Bad Matt, BAD, BAD, **BAD!!!!!! **_Matt stopped, smacking himself in the head, like Dobby from Harry Potter. _But I still have to go and see Kari...I mean...make sure she's okay...yeah, that's it...wait a sec...why am I lying to myself? I can only read my thoughts, right? Why am I even talking to myself? I'm just gonna go now._


	6. The Joke Revealed

**How to MAJORLY Tick off Tai, Davis and Jun**   
  


**Disclaimer:**

Kari: The authors don't own anything but the made-up names of the people in Matt's band. Face it, if they did own Digimon, they wouldn't be writing fanfics, but scripts.   
Matt: Just read the story, already! Fanfiction.net is a disclaimer in itself!

_Beth: We're very sorry for any OOC-ness in TK...but try not to think about it as TK._   
_Kitsune: This fanfic is starting make me physically ill._   
_Beth: I promise, I'll write one about you and Matt! And to you Takari peopled, there will be a nice, sweet, sappy, romantic, SHORT Takari coming up soon._   
_Kitsune: Yeah, I want the one about me and my Yama-chan! Wait a sec! We're doing a Takari after this?_   
_Beth: Yes, we are._   
_Kitsune: *groans* I HATE sappy stuff..this included...I really hate this fic...Beth forced me to write it!_   
_Beth: Bwahahaha!_   
_Kitsune: *rolls eyes* Just, read the fic._   
_Beth: Also, we're sorry about the HP-reference._   
_Kitsune: We are?_   
_Beth: Okay, I am. You're not. *pauses* Why am I sorry about all the stuff in OUR fic?_   
_Kitsune: Youre not. I'm sorry we even THOUGHT of the thing._   
_Beth: *indignatly* Hey!_   
_Kitsune: Oh and the question? I just did it for reviews...Bwahahaha!_   
_Beth: *dryly* What else would you expect from a girl who calls herself the Heir of Voldemort?_   
_Kitsune: I don't think they know who Voldemort is. *to audience* Voldemort is the big, evil bad guy in the Harry Potter books. He kicks ass. And this Cho is NOT Cho Chang!_   
  


**Part Six: The Joke Revealled**   
  


Back at the park....

Matt parked his car hurridly and tore out of it, running up to a pissed-off looking TK and a scared-looking Kari.

"You! You don't even trust your own _brother_ with your girlfriend?" TK asked indignantly, shaking with rage. He started to take a swing at Matt's jaw.

"NO! TK, don't! It's just a joke!" Kari shrieked.

"What?" TK yelped.

Matt just stood there, rolling his eyes and shaking his hand. Then he moved out of line of TK's fist.

"It's a joke." Kari repeated.

"A-a-a joke?" TK repeated in a monotone.

"Yes, a joke. Like 'ha, ha', funny?" Matt said.

"Tk, let me talk to you." Kari said to TK, then looked pointedly at Matt, "Alone."

"Point taken." Matt walked off.

"But what if I don't want you to talk to me?" TK asked savagely, recovering his anger.

"You are going to talk with me." Kari said thourhg gritted teeth.

"I suggest you should!" Matt called.

"Matt, you're not far enough away!" Kari screamed at him.

"Sorry!" Matt yelled back as he disappeared from view.

"Now, are you calm down enough to listen to what I have to say?" Kari asked.

"Fine." TK said, sitting down beside her on the bench.

"Now, it was a joke. I couldn't STAND that snot-nosed, hot-headed, ahem, jackass that you call your friend. He wouldn't leave me alone! And you weren't helping things any!" Kari said. "So, I was really pissed off..." and she went on to explain the whole story about Davis. "...and he told me about his troubles with Jun...so, we decided to play an...erm..._joke_ on them...but of course, you had to take things out of proportion. You know, you and your brother have the _exact_ same temperment!"

_And it seemed that some of it wore off on you._ TK privately thought, "Well, I'm kinda hurt that you didn't tell me that."

"I tried to! You were avoiding me! And my brother is even worse!" Kari exploded. Then she calmed down, "Can I tell you something? You have to swear that it will between you, me and that tree behind us...and maybe the bench we're sitting on."

"What?" TK asked suspicously.

"Well...I never liked you the way you thought...I mean I thought you for a long time, but things have sort-of, maybe, kinda...." Kari said, "changed." she finished and took a deep breath, "I now, kinda, sotra, really..." then in one big breath, she blurted, "IlikeMatt."

"WHAT?!?!" TK screamed.

"Shut up!" Kari shouted, flinging her hand over TK's mouth, "Right now, I'm as close to actually DATING him as I'll possibly be, so keep your mouth shut! I mean it! If you ruin it for me, so help me God..." she left it up to TK to imagine what horrors she would cause. She removed her hand from his mouth.

"Okay." TK whispered. "And...uhh...I don't really like you in that kinda way either, any more...I mean I thought I did too...but now I like..."

"Who?" she asked.

"Cho." TK whispered.

"Cho?" Kari asked, not being able to recognise the name.

"Cho, you know, the brunette that sits in the back of the room?" TK asked.

"Oh, her!" Kari said.

"So...erm..are you gonna go tell Matt?" TK asked hesitantly.

"NO!" Kari shouted, "And if you breath ONE word about this conversation....well, I'll leave it up to you..."

"What conversation? We're we talking about something?" TK asked innocently.

"Good boy." Kari said, _Now, how in the heck am I gonna get up the courage to tell Matt?...If I **do** tell him that is..._ she walked off to find Matt and tell him that TK wouldn't need to be dragged off by the men in white.   


In the meantime...

Matt had stopped on a bridge, lost in thoughts of his recent...er..._revelation_ about his and Kari's relationship...he was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice the annoying, Christmas-tree-like-haired twit coming up beside him.

"Hi, Matt!" Jun said perkily, "Where's that little brat?"

"She is NOT a brat." Matt said through gritted teeth.

"Whatever." Jun scoffed.

"If I hear ONE more word about me, you won't be able to SPEAK for a week." Kari had walked up.

"Well, well, well...if it isn't Little Miss..." Jun began.

BAM!

Jun was cut off as Kari punched her in the mouth.

"What happened?" TK asked, running up.

"Kari...just....just...PUNCHED Jun." Matt said, dazedly. He got over his shock and started laughing.

"What was that you were saying about me?" Kari asked sweetly.

"Bitch!" Jun spat.

"I believe your promise was that she couldn't speak for a week, Kari." Matt said helpfully.

"Right." so Kari punched Jun again.

"I believe your promise is fufilled, Kari." TK said.

"Well, you can't call me a liar." Kari shrugged and walked away. Then she stopped and turned back, "And Tai's birthday is tomorrow. You're invited."

"Okay." Matt said.

Jun limped off, nursing her bleeding mouth.

"And Matt, be _really_ nice to my brother. I want him speaking ot me sometime before college." Kari said, then walked off.

_Well, we've settled the TK thing...but what about the Tai thing...crap, what if Davis is there?_ Matt thought, a not-so-good feeling creeping over him. _I can handle Tai, but Tai and his clone? What a sec, what if Davis tries to hit on Kari. Am I supposed to stick up for her? Well, I should...I mean, we're supposed to be going out...but what if it's too convinving? People will think I like-LIKE her..._ then he stopped,

"But I _do _like-LIKE Kari, so what's the problem?" he asked out loud, "I know what the problem is. I have to stop having conversations with myself."

TK's eyes bugged out.

Matt looked over, "Did you hear anything?"

"No." TK blurted, his eyes returning to normal size, "I didn't hear anything about you saying you like-LIKE Kari. Or the fact that Kari--" then he clapped his hands to his mouth, mentally kicking himself.

"What did she say?" Matt asked in a dangerous tone.

"Nothing, nothing at all." TK said though his hands.

"I suggest you tell me if you want your DigiVice to work the next time you're in the Digital World." Matt said, grabbing TK by the collar.

"Well, well....I'll tell you...if you let go of me." TK said.

"Fine." Matt let go of him. Then TK took off, running towards the car. "TK, get your butt back here!"

TK didn't heed his words. Matt sighed, then took after him. TK literally jumped into the passanger side seat.

"Now, tell me, if you want a ride." Matt said, getting into the driver's seat.

"Well...er...Kari....uhhh...." TK took a deep breath, "Reallylikesyou."

"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!"

"You can't tell her I told you, she'll kill me!" TK yelped.

"Get out of the car." Matt said in a shocked, monotonous voice.

"But--"

"Out of the car." Matt repeated in the same tone.

"Uhh...okay..." TK said, getting out and closing the door.

Then, without warning, Matt peeled out of the park's parking lot.

"Oh great. I'm the one who hooks them up and what do I get as thanks?" TK grumbed, coughing from the exhaust fumes. "No ride home. And no 'girlfriend'....ahh, but wait...other girls! Bwahaha!"   


_Kitsune: See, we made TK happy? NO FLAMES!!!_   
_Beth: We don't need them. If you don't like this, read something esle! See, *clears throat and goes into 'lecture mode'* See, the constitution gives us the right to free speech. And descicions. Do you know what descisions are?_   
_Kitsune: Please don't patronize the audiance. We need them for reviews._   
_Beth: *pauses* That was just for the flamers. Why would the nice people need to be patronized?_   
_Kitsune: *rolls eyes* Just watch for the next part. There's only about...*counts* two parts left? They're written, well, not **written**, they're just written in our heads._   



	7. The Birthday....aka....*dun dun dun* The...

**How to MAJORLY Tick off Tai, Davis and Jun**   
  


**Disclaimer:**

Kari: The authors don't own anything but the made-up names of the people in Matt's band. Face it, if they did own Digimon, they wouldn't be writing fanfics, but scripts.   
Matt: Just read the story, already! Fanfiction.net is a disclaimer in itself!

_Kitsune: What are they gonna wear to the party?_   
_Beth: Tuxedos?_   
_Kitsune: WHAT?_   
_Beth: It's a formal party!_   
_Kitsune: Tai? Having a FORMAL party?_   
_Beth: Well, Tai didn't plan it because he was in depression so his mom planned it for him._   
_Kitsune: No! They are not wearing tuxedos!_   
_Beth: Fine. They're not wearing tuxedos._   
_Kitsune: Speaking of tuxedos, do you know how hot David Duchovny looks in one?_   
_Beth: Write the story! No talking about David Duchovny! This is a **Digimon** fanfic!_   


**Part Seven: The Birthday....aka....*dun dun dun* The Break-up...**   
  
  


The next day....

Matt and TK showed up at the Kamiya apartment at precisely half-past seven...in nice, NORMAL clothes.

"Hi Matt! Hi TK!" Kari answered the door, "Come on in."

"Hi." Matt said, following TK into the Kamiya apartment.

"Hi." TK said, laughing inwardly. _They sooo like each other...If only Matt didn't freak out about the age difference....If only he knew...._

[A/N: We're not exactly sure how to get to the action, so we're gonna go straight to the action.]

Tai was still giving Kari the cold shoulder and it was starting to piss Matt off. So, to piss Tai off even more anymore, Matt walked over to Kari and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Big mistake.

"Get your filthy hands of my sister!" Tai yelled as he leapt at Matt.

"Hey!" TK restrained him, "Its only a joke, calm down!" then he stopped. _I wasn't supposed to say that.___

There was silence.

_Crap..think fast Kari..._ Kari thought, "Umm...umm..." then she got an idea, _Okay, _she thought, _ insert dramatic break-up scene of your choice, _"It was a JOKE!?!?! A JOKE?!?!?! A JOKE?!?!?! How dare you!" she stopped, her shoulders shaking from held-in laughter.

Matt just stared dumbly at her for a moment, then let loose, "Yeah, it WAS a joke! You'd think I'd actually go out with a thirteen year old!!?!?!?!"

Everyone was looking at them in shock.

"You...you...you..."

SMACK!

Kari hit Matt round the head, mumbling apologies under her breath as she rushed past him.

Everyone stopped and stared at Matt for a second.

After thirty second, Matt decided to follow Kari's lead, "Uhhh...I'll go and try to talk to her..." then he got out of htere as fast as his legs could carry him.

"I don't trust him." Davis announced after a few minutes. Then he, too, took off after Kari.

***************

Matt found Kari in the park down the street, leaning against a tree, laughing so hard she was crying.

"I'm sorry Matt." she looked up to see Matt there with a rather red hand-print on his cheek, "I had to make it look real."

"Did you have to make it look THAT real?" Matt asked, rubbing his sore cheek.

In the mean time, they hadn't noticed that Davis had crept up behind them and was hiding behind the trees, glaring at Matt.

"Uhhh...Matt, can I tell you something, please?" Kari asked hesitantly, "But promise you won't laugh?"

"Okay, I promise."

"Ummm...." in one big breath, she burst out, "Ikindasortamaybekindalikeyou....a lot."

Matt fished around in his pocket and pulled out a locket on a long gold chain.

"What is that?" Kari asked curiously.

"It's a locket." Matt handed the locket to her.

"What's this for?" Kari asked.

"It's your birthday today, isn't it?" Matt asked.

"Well, in a few days...its actually a joint party tonight." Kari muttered.

"Well, open it." Matt handed the locket to her. She opened it and inside were pictures of her and Matt.

"Uhhh...thanks...." Kari said.

"Okay, this is kinda hard for me to say, but I kinda like you too, but I was too afraid to tell you, with the age difference and everything, that everyone, including you and me..." Matt said, "And the fact that your brother would literally kick my butt."

"I don't think he'd be able to kick your butt. You'd kick his first." Kari said.

Davis was watching from behind his tree, his eyes growing wider and wider with each word. If anyone had been looking at him, they would've thought that his eyes were gonna fall out. _Uhhh....isn't she supposed to hate him?___

They looked at each other for a moment.

Davis also looked at the both of them. But what Davis saw next made him think about becoming the next Lord Voldemort....

They were kissing!   


_Beth: Again, we are very, very sorry about the Harry Potter reference._   
_Kitsune: No, we're not._   
_Beth: Fine, I'm sorry, you're not._   
_Kitsune: No, I'm sorry about my Yama-chan and.....Kari *spits* kissing._   
_Beth: *sigh* Anyway, all that's left is the humerous epilogue which tells about what happens after. It will be up soon...in about half-an-hour in fact. And also we're writing the epilogue simply for a few reasons; 1) we don't want all your *sarcastically* lovely readers who write such nice reviews--_   
_Kitsune: Sarcasm is not good for your morale._   
_Beth: Oh, shut up! *turns to audiance* And, we're writing it so Kitsune doesn't barf all over the keyboard.READ THE EPILOGE! ^_~_


	8. What Happened to Minna-chan [Everyone].....

**How to MAJORLY Tick off Tai, Davis and Jun**   
  


**Disclaimer:**

Kari: The authors don't own anything but the made-up names of the people in Matt's band and the Happy Places Insane Asylum. Face it, if they did own Digimon, they wouldn't be writing fanfics, but scripts.   
Matt: Just read the story, already! Fanfiction.net is a disclaimer in itself!

_Beth: It's a humour story! Not serious!_   
_Kitsune: Sirius? Siruis Black? Where?_   
_Beth: You are such an idiot._   
_Kitsune: Am not! I'm just obsessive!_   
_Beth: Fine, I'll agree with that...but you're still an idiot!_   
_Kitsune: Jigoku e ochiro!_   
_Beth: Okay, first it was Harry Potter and now it's Sailormoon! And it's a Digimon fanifc!_   
_Kitsune: Digimon wa Japanese._   
_Beth: *rolls eyes* Just, type!_   


**Epilogue: What Happened to Minna-chan [Everyone]...**

In the following order, what happened to people after this fic.

**Ishida Yamato [Matt] - was kidnapped by Kitsune but returned when Beth smacked her across the head.**

Yamato: I'm still with Kari, still depressed, still have a band, still hate Jun, still happy about what happened to Tai and Davis.

**Yagami Hikari [Kari] - was pissed off when Kitsune kidnapped Yamato and was one of the reasons why Yamato is back in Fanfic Land.**

Hikari: Still going out with *pointedly to Kitsune* MY Yama-chan, plan on getting married.   
Yamato: Marriage? I said nothing about marriage? Marriage bad!   
Kitsune: *Kitsune sends a death glare at Hikari and takes out wand* Avada--   
Beth: Harry Potter is NOT in this story!   
Yamato: *nervously* Can I go?   
Kitsune & Hikari: IIE!!!!!   
Beth: For those of you Japanese illeterate, that means No.

**Izumi Koushiro [Izzy] - still Izzy, threw Bill Gates out of Microsoft and took over and is now threatening to take over the world.******

Koushiro: Mine! Mine! It shall all be mine! Die! Die! You shall all die! Bwahahaha! *was taken away by the men in the white coats and placed in the Happy Places Insane Asylum next cell by--*   
Beth: Ah, ah, ah. That's a secret!

**Kido Jou - moved to America to be near Mimi.******

Jou: Mimi, I'm coming to get you! Mimi! Here, Mimi, Mimi! *men in white take him away and put him into the cell on the other side of --*   
Beth: It's still a secret!****

**Tachikawa Mimi - moved back to Japan to get away from her stalker, Jou.**

Mimi: I have a job at the flower shop with Sora. And we're not yuri! You're all sick! *starts muttering about the sick yuri and yaoi people* You're sick! I will kill you all! Die! Die! *gets taken away by the miw [men in white] and gets put in the cell across from---*   
Beth: It's _still_ a secret!   
Kitsune: *rolls eyes*   
Beth: Quiet you!   
Kitsune: I didn't say anything!   
Beth: They talk! Your eyes were talking to me!   
*The men in white coats attempt to take her*   
Beth: You can't take me! I've already been there! I'm writing this fic! You can't take me!   
*The miw look at each other, then leave, deciding she's too psycho for even them*

**Takenouchi Sora - opened a flower shop and, obviously hired Mimi to keep her away from Stalker-Jou...then she started stalking Mimi for her hair.******

Sora: Mimi, your hair is so pretty! And mine is so ugly! I will hunt you down and cut off all your pretty hair and glue it on my head. Then I will have pretty hair and kill you so you will not be able to have any pretty hair. Do you understand? I will kill you! Die! Die!   
Beth: Guess what happened! I'm sure you won't able to guess! *the miw take Mimi away*

**Takaishi Takeru [TK] - got over Hikari, chased Cho, then found out she was the crush of Harry Potter and became obsessive...then was subjected to the Cruciatus Curse and went insane.******

Takeru: Pretty Cho...pretty, pretty Cho...She's mine! All mine! *miw give him anethstetic and he collapses*   
Harry Potter: She's MINE!

**Harry Potter - didn't go insane, of course....but was thrown into the Happy Places Insane Asylum just for the sake of it.******

Harry: I'm not insane!   
Kitsune: *blinks* You aren't? *turns to Beth* Harry didn't go insane?   
Beth: Uhh...no.   
Kitsune: *shrugs and lets Harry out* Kay. You can go.

**Lord Voldemort - The almighty, all-powerful dark wizard took over the world because Harry Potter wan't in the insane asylum with everyone else.******

Voldemort: I am ruler of the world! Harry's in the asylum! Harry's in the asylum!   
Harry: No, I'm not.   
Voldemort: You're not...okay...in that case...*Voldemort once again fled from Harry Potter into the dark of the night*   
Kitsune and Beth: *starts singing* In the dark of the night, evil will find you! In the dark of the night, evil will rule!   
Back-up Bugs: Do do do do....   
Harry: *punches fist in air* Yes! Only three words this time! I'm getting stronger!   
Kitsune: *eyes Harry* If you get Yamato for me, you can rule the world.   
Beth: No you can't!****

**Hida Iori [Cody] - well, he was already insane...******

Beth: He's Psycho-Arabian Dude with his little Digiworld-get up, so he's already insane. He went to the cell above--   
Kitsune: Can't say who!****

**Inoue Miyako [Yolei] - became Koushiro's second-in-command, is plotting to overthrow him.******

Miyako: I WILL overthrow him! I WILL! *miw drag her to the cell below--*   
Beth: Not saying who!****

**Motomiya Jun - tried to stalk Yamato, but failed, was killed by rampaging Hippogriffs.******

Jun: ....   
Kitsune: She's dead. She can't speak. Celebrate!****

**Motomiya Daisuke [Davis] - commited suicide when he couldn't have Hikari.******

Daisuke's Suicide Note: Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Yamato, shin de! Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Yamato, shin de! Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Hikari, ai shiteru, Yamato, shin de....   
Kitsune: His note was 150 pages long. He would've been next to go to the Happy Places Insane Asylum...except that he was already dead.   
Beth: Translation of his note; "Hikari, I love you" and "Matt, die!"   
Kitsune: Very happy, wasn't he?   
Beth: Oh, he was just a happy little fellow.

**Yagami Taichi [ Tai] - was the one in the Happy Places Insane Asylum that minna [except Yama-chan and *spits* Hikari and us] got thrown in above, below, across, beside.******

Taichi: I will kill the authors! *tries to get out* I will kill you! My sister and that...thing...*miw come and give him a shot of aenethstetic and he collapses* Ahhh...happy places...   
Beth: That was creepy. Even **I'm** not that insane.   
Taichi: *in background* Happy places....   
Beth: Okay, he's scaring me now. I'm leaving now.   
Kitsune: Fine. *goes to hunt down Yamato*****

Author's Note: We're sorry. We're high on sugar. It's a friday. We're pissed at the HP book banners.   
Beth: *came running back to say this* I'm a Christain! Why are other Christians taking away one of my most favourit-ist book series! Why? Why?


End file.
